I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
