'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
