Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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