it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
