You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
