just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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