similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
