So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
