i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
