just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
