And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, beer. Big fan.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
