If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
