Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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