You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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