pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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