no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
