Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
