Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
