Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
porn star boner night. come get it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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