When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
