Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dignity is for republicans.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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