she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
