were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
