Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
