I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
