Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
