Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I understand Curling. That high.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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