Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
