i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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