he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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