Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
