I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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