I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
