It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
