I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
