Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
