Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
