and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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