Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
