CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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