cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I should be sponsored by Trojan
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
