i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
