FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
