Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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