definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My ass is underappreciated
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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