I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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