I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
