Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
