Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's official drugs can't kill me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
