So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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