fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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