It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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